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You Beat Me Down
Survivor poems

You Beat Me Down

You beat me down, with your words and fist, until I grew smaller, never small enough....
You Beat Me Down

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You beat me down (version 1):

You beat me down
With your words and fist
Until I grew smaller
Never small enough

I wanted to die
I was evil
Curled up on the floor sobbing
Then you forgave
I had repented
Changed my ways
It would be OK

It could work now I had learnt my lesson
I believed you
Believed I deserved to die

Now I know the truth
You are evil
Wolf in sheep's clothing
I still love you
God help me

But, I fucking hate you too
Your lies
Your selfishness
Why didn't you love me
You took
Punished me like a child.

You beat me down version 2:

You beat me down
With your bile
Each word sliced through me
Cut me down
Inch by inch I shrunk
Your hate stripped me of my self-respect
Of my self worth
Until I was nothing but a pool oozing despair on the floor

Only then did you 'forgive'
I had repented
Learned my lesson
All would be well
I was no longer a 'danger' that didn't deserve to live

I believed you
I believed every lie
I gave up everything as my selfishness had destroyed all

Yet it was never enough for you
I was never enough
The more I gave the more you demanded
I owed you, you said
I had to do my penance
I had to accept nothing from you but give you everything

I hate you but
I love you
You were wrong
You deserved nothing
You have nothing

I thought I should die
Now I live
I give
Not to you though
Never again

I owe you nothing
I never did
I hope you and your ego are miserable together
You deserve it

You tried to destroy me
Grind me down to nothing
For what?
Your ego
You lost the best thing you ever had
I got my life back.

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