Why do people stay in an abusive relationship?
There are many reasons why people stay in an abusive relationship, and we should never blame them or make them feel responsible for not being able to leave. If we can understand why people stay, then we are more likely to be able to help and support them to leave safely when the time is right. Some of the […]
I want to stay with my partner. Will you still support me?
We support anyone who has had or is still in an abusive relationship. We won’t ever tell you what to do or make choices for you. If you want to stay with your partner we can still offer you support.
What is a MARAC?
MARAC stands for Multi Agency Risk Assessment Conference. It is a meeting attended by agencies to discuss cases of domestic violence that professionals consider to be ‘high risk’. The purpose of the MARAC is so that all the agencies involved in helping victims can agree how best to offer protection - this could include fitting alarms, […]
I thought I'd moved on but now my ex has a new partner and I feel jealous - why?
Jealousy is for the partner you wanted them to be and also part of grieving for the relationship. It is normal and will subside in time.
They've changed but I can't forgive them for the way they have treated me. Is this common?
Occasionally people can change but it can be very hard to forgive someone that you loved and trusted who has abused that trust. Just because someone has stopped being abusive, doesn't mean you have to stay with them. It's OK to realise that their behaviour has done too much damage to the relationship and that […]
Every time I leave my partner says sorry and says they'll change. I keep going back but they never change, so why do I keep going back?
Most of us are optimistic about relationships; we want them to work because we have invested time, love and energy in them working. An abusive relationship is no different. What is different is that when you've been abused, your self-esteem and sense of self-worth can be seriously affected. This can leave you with small amounts […]
Since I've left, my partner has been really nice. Does this mean they have changed?
They may have, but it is unlikely. Statistically this is the highest risk time in terms of abuse (when the relationship is about to end or has ended). Part of the reason for this, is that they have lost control of you and the situation. A way of attempting to regain control can be by […]
They say they've changed - how do I know they have?
Domestic abuse centres around the use of power to control of one individual by another. If there is still a fundamental imbalance in the relationship (e.g. it's still largely on their terms, even though other forms of abuse may have stopped) then it is likely the abuse will continue. If they are not accepting that […]
What are the signs that I'm being abused?
Every relationship is different and this is true of abusive relationships. However, as well as actual physical violence there are some common signs that your relationship is unequal or abusive. These include: Your partner being jealous or over possessive, You feeling nervous about how your partner might react of you tell them something difficult, Your […]
What are the effects of domestic abuse?
The effects of domestic abuse vary from person to person and depend on each individual’s experience. The effects can become worse over time and they can take a long time to recover from. Emotional: The most common feature of living in an abusive relationship is suffering emotional or psychological abuse. The effects of this are extremely […]
Can I find out if my new partner is abusive?
There is a law called ‘Claire’s Law’ that means you can request for the police to share details of your partner’s history with you if he’s been convicted of offences. The police will need good reasons before they share any info they have with you. If you suspect that your new partner is abusive always […]
If I ring the police, do I have to go to court?
Each case is dealt with differently and largely depends on what has happened. When you report to the police, they should assess the situation and ensure the safety of you and your children. This might mean arresting and taking the perpetrator into custody. Following this, the police compile a report on what has happened – […]